We’ve made it to Spring at last, and I’m already thinking ahead to beach days, oysters, and bare shoulders. Mostly I’d like to not feel so cold all the damn time.
First
I want to start this update by acknowledging the grim state of the world and the country and my own despair and feelings of powerlessness within it. I’ve been in a mild dissociation since January. The second Trump administration is barely two months old and they’ve wasted no time in doing cruel, self-defeating, disorienting, and generally dumbass things. I legitimately worry about how I will stay sane for the next four years (or even the next two until the mid-terms), with so much to pay attention to and so much to worry about. I stress about the toll this ambient chaos will have on my health and happiness. Sometimes I forget that this is real life and not some sort of temporary mass hallucination that we’re all overdue to snap out of. I’ve already felt it dampen my creativity, in its place a general malaise and tendency to descend into doom scrolling in a near vegetative state.
I feel less bad though, when I narrow my focus to my loved ones, my home, and my art. Happiness exists and individual goodness persists (I trust, I hope), and I really don’t want to discount that. Here, in this space, I’d like to stick to the joys that find their way to me - those resilient little things. I think I’ll need them to hold onto.
So, pottery.
I started February by taking the last two weeks of my maternity leave from Rowy’s birth. I’d reserved them as a gift to my future self. It was a fantastic call. That free time was unbelievable even as I was living it. I napped, read, got a facial, and even served a day of jury duty. I spent time on the wheel and hand-built new designs nearly every day.
It felt great to get back to clay, but it put into stark relief how little of myself I’ve been able to dedicate to pottery recently. This was both a bummer of a realization and a spark of motivation to make more of an effort. After a dream year for M&m that kept me not only busy but also constantly behind, I was exhausted. I’d like to pick things up again, but what progress I’ve been able to make feels slower than ever these days, in this world.
I threw with three clays I don’t usually work with: Laguna B-mix 5, Standard 365 Grolleg Porcelain, and Kentucky Mudworks Dark Star. The porcelain in particular is notable and interesting in its low plasticity, requiring more cajoling when pulling. It feels almost like rubber or silicone when the wheel is going at speed, stretching with pressure but wanting to bounce back to its prior shape. I tossed many items into reclaim so I can keep practicing with these clays, but there are a few pieces that I plan to fire and finish, including a couple of matcha bowls that I’ve given to my dad to paint and a Year of the Snake vase.
I also made a series of wall altars that are being finished in colorful glazes. This collection is the first of its kind in many respects. I’m using low fire clay, making wall decor, and finishing with commercial glazes. The palette that I’m working with reminds me of a whimsical circus: French blue, burgundy, ruby red, dusty pink.
In early March, I went to Jazz’s class to lead a pottery activity, teaching them about ceramics and making pinch pots with them. The kids did so well. They then each wrote their names on a strip of paper which I later scanned in, printed at a smaller scale, and traced and carved onto each pot. I delivered them back to school this week and I hope they’re proud of their work.
Flowers for February
February has really grown on me in recent years, and I now believe that it’s the most underrated month on the calendar. If January is for rest and resolutions, February is for gentle beginnings. I finally (finally!) fulfilled all outstanding orders from 2024 and documented my first goals for 2025.
Rowan's First Birthday
My birthday falls on February 1st, but I now know that this month will always be about Rowy's birthday. My easy-going boy who goes along to get along. His personality emerges more and more and I'm so lucky to witness it. He's developed a tendency to play coy sometimes; he tries not to smile by drawing his lips into a line. He fails adorably of course, his wide cheeks give him away. He's begun to wave hello too, and is close to saying his first words and taking his first steps. When he’s extra happy his crinkle-nosed smile squeezes his eyes shut and his four little beaver teeth are on full display.
Spring Dreams
I’m placing much hope in this season of renewal. This spring, my goal is to make our home a place of supreme serenity. The irony is that it takes such vigilance and work to upkeep. But what if I could find the energy to do so? I’d want a verdant entrance, a cozy bedroom, and a cottage-y downstairs workspace.
Of course, gardening factors heavily in my spring plans. I direct sowed some seeds last week just to have the soil tilled and turned by our landscapers a few days later as they tidied and prepped our outdoors areas. Lesson learned for next year - this team will tell me when my planting season starts. Hopefully some of those seeds will still germinate, and no matter, since this year I’m going to mix direct sowing and seed starting in trays, as well as stagger planting to increase the odds of something surviving to flower.
Et Alia
One of February’s highlights was a date night at Ha’s Snack Bar, a new restaurant downtown that has been getting heaps of accolades and recently received two stars from the New York Times. Lucky to have snagged the reservation when we did. The space was an adorable shoebox, something that would fit right in in Paris, and the food was very very good. We sat at the end of the bar, next to the tiny kitchen, and we actually had a friend of the chefs’ get squeezed into the tiniest corner next to me as an unexpected guest. He came bearing a chocolately baked treat as a gift from London, where he’d flown in from just hours earlier, and we got to try some as a thank you for the tighter crowding. It was nice to chat with him too; we learned that he’s an art reporter who was in town to cover the renovated Frick, and we hit him up for a bakery recommendation in London.
A Ridgewood favorite, Cafe Plein Air, closed its doors on March 2nd. I mention that here to commemorate how lovely it was to have had it as a pleasant, reliable, no-fuss option for a late breakfast on a WFH Friday. Favorites were their seasonal heirloom tomato sandwich, their lentil, oyster mushroom, sausage and egg breakfast, their generous and fresh green juice, and their house made vanilla soda (I drank many of these while pregnant). Restaurants come and go in this city and some of those closures hit harder than others. I hope, at least, that something wonderful opens in that space next.
Photo Diary
Until next time, some selected memories from life lately: Stick the snowman, a clear and cold day in Greenpoint, Ppl cafe in Williamsburg, a chained amphora, weekend lunch at Leo, the luckiest apples.
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